easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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