last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
