I'm drive I can fine osifer
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
tell me about the eggs
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
