Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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