Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
