That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
