Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
