SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize