I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
