I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
