"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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