It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize