Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
