i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
