I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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