oh god the rape fog is back!
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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