Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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