And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
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I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
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You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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