my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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