She's JV to your varsity
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Sorry about my life...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
