need another drink. this is the easiest way
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
