just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize