Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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