Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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