omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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