I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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