dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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