The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
