You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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