so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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