i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
