But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
