He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
