Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
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So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
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Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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