Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
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John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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