Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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