If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
