Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
