Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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