Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
