Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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