I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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