The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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