lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
