The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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