Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
