If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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