his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize