I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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