just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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