My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
should my penis look like a turkey
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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