New invention idea: vibrating tampons
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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